PenWomanShip

Luanne and Eva don't agree on the new male neighbor, but both think that a summer supper without fresh sliced tomatoes is not supper. Eva washes two tomatoes and then sharpens the knife; Luanne sets the platter on the counter. As Eva forces the knife through the red, juicy fruit, Luanne exclaims, "My, my! We got a good one."

Then she watches Eva's purple-veined hands transport the delicacies from the cutting board to their Grandmother Poochy's crystal platter.

Tonight it is almost seven when they slice the tomatoes and after a day at the Farmer's Market in Raleigh, they choose to cook together without arguing. They talk of the new hummingbird feeder and Uncle Eddie's tobacco crop, because these are safe topics.

The women, first cousins, have lived in an old one-story brick house on Craig Street ever since the day they decided they could share the mortgage, each have her own bathroom, and take turns with the grocery shopping. Eva hates to clean, Luanne thrives on spotlessness. Eva likes to garden and mow the grass with the Craftsman riding lawn mower.

The phone call comes from Uncle Eddie. "He's dead."

Luanne thinks he means the oldest cow. "Oh, too bad. She gave as much milk as she could. Gotta go sometime."

"Not Beachnut," Uncle Eddie's voice is clear over the phone. "Willy Hammock."

Luanne places the phone back in the cradle and turns to Eva for three seconds. "My goodness! My goodness! My! My!" She then rushes to her bedroom, her pink slippers pattering down the hardwoods.

Eva places the knife on the counter and follows her. "Who was on the phone and what is going on?" Eva's voice is already firm. She has lived with her cousin for fifteen years and recalls the last time Luanne reacted in such a way; ignoring it had only led to the silent treatment for two days and Eva hates silence.

Luanne is seated at her dresser on the puffy pink stool, a gift from Poochy. She starts to brush her long hair, still red after all these years and without a strand of gray, thanks to Clairol's hair color.

"What is it?" Eva asks once more.

Luanne shakes her head and continues to brush her hair. Finally she shouts, "He loved me best!"

Eva lets out a sigh. "We're tired, Lu, and when we're tired, we know not to argue."

The other woman shakes her head so hard that Eva is sure it will pop off onto the blue patch of carpet underneath Luanne's stool.

"He loved me!" Luanne shouts.

"Who was on the phone?" demands Eva. And then she sees there are tears running down her cousin's make up. "Lu?" Her voice softens.

"I guess, " Luanne says as she places the brush on the dresser by her pearl earrings, "it doesn't matter anymore."

Eva hands Luanne a tissue from the crocheted container.

Luanne blows her nose in a noisy fashion and then sniffs. "I suppose we should eat supper now," she says.

"What happened?"

"Oh! Oh! Willy."

The women have fought over Willy for decades now.

Eva is too tired to fight tonight. She returns to the kitchen. As she fills glasses with iced tea and takes the ham out of the oven, Luanne approaches her. She is wearing the pearl earrings Willy gave her six Christmases ago.

"Willy will never be able to give us anything ever again," she mutters and looking out the kitchen window watches a hummingbird buzz around the bird feeder.

Eva's brow wrinkles and then she whispers, "Is he…?"

Luanne nods and wipes another tear from her hazel eyes.

The women embrace and Eva asks, "How did he…?"

"You know, I don't know."

Eva dials their uncle's number.

"It was Myrtle," Luanne says.

Eva places the receiver down before her uncle can answer his phone. "Of course," she says with a crooked smile. "I knew he shouldn't have married her."

"I think she poisoned him with - with - with her meatloaf."

"I bet you're right."

The doorbell rings and there stands their neighbor, a young college professor at State. "Good evening," he says and his smile is wide and shows rows of straight white teeth. He's wearing gym shorts and a gray t- shirt with "NC State" printed across the front in bold red letters. In his hand is a plastic measuring cup.

"You need sugar, " says Eva.

"Flour?" asks Luanne. She manages to flutter her eyelashes, still damp from her tears.

The neighbor laughs. "I need milk. A cup."

"We only have low-fat," Eva tells him.

"Willy liked whole milk, " Luanne says with a sigh. "He died."

"Your cat died?" questions the neighbor.

Luanne shakes her locks. "Our man."

"Your man?"

Eva says with all the sincerity she can muster, "He was ours. But Mrytle killed him."

"Married him first."

Eva nods at her older cousin. "Then the meatloaf."

"You're not making meatloaf, are you?" Luanne gives the neighbor a little wink.

He seems surprised he is holding a measuring cup. "Uh - no. No. Why?"

He looks at Luanne who responds, "Well, Mrytle poisoned the meatloaf. And Willy died."

"We never did like Mrytle LaBoom," interjects Eva.

"Well, actually we used to, " she corrects her. "Remember? Before she married Willy?"

"You did! I never did like that woman. I could tell from the get-go she was after his money."

"You went to Atlantic City with her."

"Only to be with Willy."

"That's not what you told Uncle Eddie."

When the women look at the front door, their neighbor is gone.

"I don't like him anyway, " says Eva, shutting the door.

"Oh, I do."

Eva sneers, "You like anyone in pants."

The funeral is set for three in the afternoon on Monday at Mount Olive Second Baptist Church in Mount Olive, North Carolina. Luanne doesn't know what to wear. She tries to zip the red dress with the white sash. "Willy liked me in this dress," she tells Eva. But the years have added a few inches to the woman's waist and no matter how she turns or holds her breath, the dress will not zip up her back.

Eva is wearing a pair of pink high heels.

"They'll think you're a tramp!" Luanne blurts as her eyes rest on the shoes.

"But Willy and I went dancing when I wore these shoes. All night."

"He said you couldn't dance in or out of any pair of shoes," Luanne says.

"He was going to marry me," Eva dreamily looks out the window as the sun beats upon the grass.

"My! My! What a head full of assumptions." She pushes her hair away from her face and ears. "Did he ever give you earrings? Real pearl earrings?" She fingers the round white treasures on her ears.

Eva frowns at Luanne. "No."

While sitting on the puffy stool, Luanne adds a layer of scarlet lipstick to her lips. She smiles broadly.

Eva matches her smile. "He gave me diamonds," she says before leaving her cousin's bedroom, her pink high heels clicking across the hardwoods.

It is a two-hour drive to the church. Fifteen miles outside of Mount Olive, the women see a sign for a flea market and both agree that they must go. Eva is certain the sign is directing them to take a left at the next light and Luanne says that since Eva is driving she isn't able to read the directions correctly - the sign said to take a right after the light and then a left. After going three miles down a muddy dirt road with cows and horses on either side, Eva cries, "Say something!" Silence has never been a friend to her.

"We are lost," Luanne says.

"I know that."

"Turn back."

At a weather-beaten diner - Patty Sue's World Famous Burgers - they ask for directions to the flea market and giving in to thirst, sit down and each order a glass of iced tea.

Soon they approach the flea market - an open field with tables of old books, magazines, trinkets, and wooden furniture scattered around a rusty hot dog stand. The women browse and barter under the July sun. They end up buying an oak curio cabinet with a glass door.

"We could put all the things that Willy gave us over the years in this curio," says Luanne.

"He gave me more than he gave you," Eva flaunts as they place the curio in the trunk of their Camry.

"He gave me his love," says Luanne. "You might not see that or be able to stick that in a cabinet, but I know."

"He loved me best," sighs Eva as she unlocks the car door.

"Why did he ever marry that Mrytle anyway?" asks Luanne.

Eva takes a tissue from her green leather purse. She pauses at the opened car door to wipe mud from the left heel of her pink shoes.

"We're going to be late."

Eva tosses the tissue onto the back seat. "How late?"

"It's thirty-five after," her cousin says as she peers at the clock on the dashboard.

"After what?"

Luanne covers her lips in scarlet lipstick. "After the time the funeral was to start."

Miles down the road they see another sign, a large billboard with the words: "Forgive as God has forgiven you."

"I suppose we should forgive her," Eva says with a deep sigh.

"I don't know."

"Don't you think it might help us?"

"Well, they do say that when we forgive others that frees us to be forgiven."

Eva winces. "I don't know. She shouldn't have married Willy. It just wasn't right."

"She stole. She's the one who needs forgiveness."

Two minutes outside of Mount Olive, Eva insists she must find a restroom. She pulls the Camry into a small gas station with an attached convenience store - Billy Jim's Stop and Go -- parks, and trying to avoid the potholes, makes a beeline for the store.

When she returns to her car, a red Mustang speeds past her, dips its tires into the mud-filled potholes, and splatters mud. The mud lands all over Eva's pink dress and high-heel shoes.

"Well, you know what this means?" Luanne shouts above Eva's moans.

"Yeah, I'll never forgive Mrytle now."

"It means we can't go to the funeral." She shakes her head. "Not looking like this." She rubs a spot of the brown mud off of Eva's face. "Not to our own Willy's funeral!"

Eva breathes in and out. "Lu, you are right. You are most certainly right."

"My, my! Willy would die if he saw you like that."

The women then break into laughter, climb back into their car and just as they are about to turn out of the gas station, Eva puts on the brakes.

"Isn't that Uncle Eddie?"

A black Chevy truck eases into the station.

"Are you on your way to the funeral?" Eva rolls down the window to ask.

Uncle Eddie stares at his nieces. "Funeral? It's over."

"Oh," Luanne's face forms a pout, "We missed our Willy's funeral."

Eva sniffs. "How could we have done such a thing?"

"Poor Mrytle," Uncle Eddie says. He loosens his necktie. "She about wanted to crawl into that casket with her Willy."

"Her Willy?! Just cuz she stole him from us doesn't mean that makes him hers!" Luanne shakes her head vehemently.

"And did you find out how she poisoned him?" Eva questions their uncle.

"Yeah, did you see any undercover agents there trying to find out the truth about Mrytle? Did you see men in dark sunglasses with those walkie-talkies in - "

"He had a heart attack while riding on his tractor," interrupts Uncle Eddie.

Luanne whispers, "That's just what they want you to believe."

"But we know," Eva says with a grin. "Lu and I, we know what really happened."

They wave and drive towards Raleigh. Soon the sun will set and they must get home to slice tomatoes for their supper.