|
Dear
Jane - Every rejection I get feels like the drip, drip, drip
of failure to me. How do I deal with that? - Dejected and
Rejected Freelancer
Dear
D&R - I know it's hard, but try not to take it personally.
If you are doing what you want and feel confident about the
quality of your work, then you must keep charging forward.
Remember, each rejection is just one person's opinion. If
the letter includes comments, that's a good sign. Take the
advice, make changes and resubmit. If not (and you're certain
that your article is right for that publication) wait several
months and send it again. (The turnover rate for readers tends
to be pretty high, and chances are that your piece will land
on another desk the second time around.) Comments or not,
keep looking for other places to submit. Set a minimum number
of queries per week for yourself and send them! To keep you
inspired, here's one of my favorite examples of a writer who
wouldn't give up:
Rod
Serling created the very successful "Twilight Zone"
and "Night Gallery" TV series and authored many
of the stories for those programs. Writing for radio paid
the bills while he wrote the dramatic TV scripts that he really
loved (and that made him famous). He kept submitting those
scripts and getting rejected. In fact, he received forty rejection
slips in a row! But he didn't stop trying. Six years after
selling his first TV script, he received an Emmy for his work
and went on to earn five more Emmys.
Dear
Jane - I made the leap four months ago. I quit my job to work
full-time on my novel. I've never published anything, but
I'm finally going to try. My dear husband is totally supporting
me on this, so that's not a problem. What IS the problem?
I feel lonely, isolated. I'd really like to be able to bounce
ideas off of other writers or even just have a coffee with
someone who knows what it's like to spend hours rewriting
two paragraphs. I've tried e-mail discussion groups, chat
rooms and message boards. They just don't do it for me. I
need real people! Suggestions? - Amy in Small Town Texas
Dear
Amy - As you have found, isolation is not a writer's friend.
First, do an Internet search for "writers club [plus
your city or state]." Go back to the discussion groups
and message boards and tell them what you need and where you
are. Go to www.craigslist.org. There are craigslists for Austin
and Houston. Post on the "writers" discussion board
asking about writer's clubs in your area. Other ideas: If
there's a college or university near you, check there. Put
up a notice on bulletin boards in the market, the hardware
store -- wherever you can. There must be at least one other
lonely writer nearby. If there isn't a club already, you can
start one!
Dear
Jane - I'm a freelance writer and work mainly from home. Four
mothers in my neighborhood and I share the carpooling of our
kids to/from school. One mom in particular (and others, too)
calls me whenever she can't fulfill her carpooling duties.
This happens at least once a week, and I am expected to fill
in. They always have reasonable excuses, but I feel like they
are taking advantage of me. When I say, "Gee, I'm really
busy today...." I get responses like, "But you're
home all day. It will only take you a few minutes." I
have appointments and deadlines to meet just like everyone
else. How come I don't get any respect? -Vicki
Dear
Vicki - You're right. They are taking advantage of you. It
sounds like your neighbors think that working from home isn't
"real" work. They don't value your time or the work
you are doing, and you're letting them get away with it. Next
time you get one of those calls, have your response ready.
Be polite, but firm. Say that you really wish you could help,
but you are terribly busy today and just can't do it. If the
caller insists, stick with your script: "I'm sorry. I
wish I could help, but I just can't today." Set some
boundaries for these women!
Dear
Jane - I'm a mid-level executive in publishing. My colleagues
are mostly male, and they use pretty foul language, especially
in meetings. I'm no prude, but I find this offensive. The
other women do, too. How should we handle this? Do we have
to talk the same way to fit in with this bunch of 30-going-on-12-year-old
guys? - Bleeped
Dear
Bleeped - Can you really imagine yourself sinking to that
level and getting into their [expletive deleted] match? You
probably can't top them. (And why would you want to?) Their
behavior could be meant to shock you to see what reaction
they get, or they may be protecting their turf and reaffirming
a boys' club "No Girls Allowed" attitude. Whatever
their reasons, it won't be to your advantage to try to fit
in and be one of the guys. In a recent study, 100 male CEOs
were asked what intangibles hold qualified women back. One
factor mentioned was women trying to fit in with the "male
vocabulary." Keep it clean. Don't let them see your disapproval.
Hold on to your dignity.
***
Jane
Allen, M.S., M.F.C., is a career coach and a freelance writer.
Before transitioning to coaching, she was a psychotherapist.
Jane lives in San Francisco. Unexpected intersections...Amazing
moments of synchronicity. Please tell me your story! www.connectingstories.com.
Need writing advice? Contact Jane Allen at thewritestuff@penwomanship.com.
|